Right now millions of guys all over the world are getting friendzoned for a simple truth: girls don’t like regulars. That is to say, they don’t want a guy who is a regular at a bar!
Think about it. Remember that time you met that cutie at your favorite bar and she seemed super interested until suddenly… she wasn’t?
Chances are your favorite bartender cock-blocked you without even realizing it! Here are some easy ways you can make sure this never happens again- without giving up your favorite water hole.
So…. Come here often?
Picture this. She’s blonde, vivacious and super chatty. You’re into her, she’s into you… then you go to the bathroom, and she’s got no one to talk to but the bartender. (All very good reasons why you need to start hanging out with a wingman, my friend, but that is another article.) She asks the bartender, “So, is he here all the time?”
And the bartender says, “Oh yeah. All the time.”
Well, bad news buddy. I can hear her brakes screeching to a halt from here.
Women never stop reading between the lines. They are biologically programmed to be super picky, you know- they have a relatively small fertility window and so they want to make the ‘right’ choice in a partner. If a woman hears that you are hanging out in a bar ‘all the time’, right away she is going to think two things, one right after the other:
- You have nothing more important to do.
- You might be an alcoholic.
And boom! You’ve lost her! Now you are permanently iced in the friendzone, or worse- she’s about to ditch you completely.
Quick, save me!
Sorry to say there’s not much you can do to rescue things at this point, unless you are insanely charming and she is way into you. You may be able to smooth over any damages by casually mentioning how sometimes you like to come by to do a little work in the early afternoons before things get loud, but chances are she won’t buy it.
Even a woman who is just looking for a casual hookup wants her man to be a valuable guy. So what do you do? Act valuable. This means you either have to curtail some of the bar hopping, or at least spread around your venues. For example, don’t always go to the same place at the same time. It truly can work against you.
Hot, high-status women expect high-status men to be busy. Way too busy to be a regular at a bar.
Another Reason Not to Stay in One Place Too Long When You’re on the Hunt
Even when women act like they haven’t noticed you, trust me, they have. And they’ve noticed everyone you’ve been talking to. If you’ve been hitting on girls all night long, she’s not going to be as interested or feel as special when the two of you finally get around to chatting. Also, she will assume that since none of the other girls have scooped you up, you’re low-status and ineffectual. So swoop around. Go for the girl you are interested in most pretty quickly. Have some fun, and then if you aren’t making progress, bounce. You’ll automatically seem more powerful, sexier, and interesting, too.
Awesome, I’m a Regular too!
Buddy, you just poisoned your favorite bar! Women are more likely to sleep with someone who is on the fringe of her social circle, not someone she is good friends with. If you seem too similar to her, chances are she’ll end up going for one of your friends eventually instead of you- because she ‘doesn’t want to risk losing your friendship.’ Sounds painfully familiar, doesn’t it?
You guys are going to start running into each other all the time. Now, unless you’re lucky enough to start banging her right away, chances are your relationship will never advance. This is just another reason to not become a regular anywhere.
Screw it, I want to be a regular anyway. I love my bar! If you can’t give up your old habits, here’s how you can strategize for the least amount of damage:
Don’t get pigeon holed as a regular. It’s ok to know a lot of people somewhere- that makes you seem popular! You just don’t want to have the reputation of always being at a certain bar. Makes you seem like you have lots of free time to waste.
Dodge and weave
Chances are, when you’re making chit-chat, she’s going to ask if you’re a regular. Don’t say yes! Say, “I wish I had time to come more often.” Don’t necessarily elaborate right away. You’ll sound mysterious and ambitious.
Choose a hang-out bar where no hot chicks are going to be dropping by
There’s a reason why old-school pubs exist!
Don’t revisit the same bar if you have girls still pending there
Assume every girl you meet out is a regular at the place where you met her, even if she tells you she hardly ever goes out- Wait a second, you say. But this time I have more of a shot, because now we know each other!
Here’s where you are very, very wrong, my friend. If you ‘bump’ into her, now you seem like you’re just out to get girls. Which she thinks high-status guys don’t have to do. So you look less cool and desperate. So if she gave you her phone number, and you want to see her again, be a man and text or call her. Don’t try to just bump into her- it WILL work against you. Best case scenario, she’ll think you’re a bar fly. Worst case scenario, it will be awkward and you’ll lose your confidence.
- Avoid getting pinned as a regular.
- Have a separate bar you keep as a hang-out spot, and others you sporadically visit to pick up girls.
- Don’t revisit a spot if you have any girls pending from there.