So, she’s perfect. She’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of having and more. She has the perfect body, the perfect mind. She’s funny, cool and laid back, and you’re absolutely crazy about her. You’re even a little in love with her, to be honest. But something’s gone wrong.
All that delicious sexual tension has fizzled away. She says things to you like, “You’re my best friend,” and treats you like one of her girlfriends. Like an after thought!
My man, you have fallen into the Friendzone, that dreaded, balls-numbing Bermuda Triangle where all amorous hope is lost forever. Are you ready to be treated like her little pet lap dog, dragged around on shopping trips, listening to her complain about other men? Ready to stare after her perfect little ass as she bounces around on the dance floor, with one sweaty guy after another, all while you stand there holding her purse?
While it can seem like some dudes instinctively know how to escape the Friendzone, just because you don’t possess this instinct doesn’t mean you can’t learn it. There are endless methods to become a more seductive guy. Once you learn to inhabit just a few, your energy with women will begin to change drastically. Not only will you escape the Friendzone, you will never fall into it again. What’s more, you’ll find the possibilities (read: gorgeous women) just keep falling into line. Now, are you ready to learn the secrets sexy guys have known for millennia?
1. They understand male/female dynamics.
In fact, not only do seductive men understand these dynamics, they respect and even venerate them. The thing is, we’ve had it beaten into our heads that chivalry is dead, that men and women are the same, blah blah blah. Worse still, the culture often reduces women to silly stereotypes, which are static and unmysterious. Women hate this. Women will love any guy who sees her as a sexual creature, as infinitely mysterious, distinctly Other. Don’t ever say anything that reduces her to just another chickadee in the flock. Appreciate your differences. Practice playing the ‘role’ of a classic, masculine man, and women will respond in kind, instantly becoming more feminine and sexual. Do not ever allow her to treat you like anything less than a man- your response to this behavior should always be to ignore it.
2. They play the role of a classic, masculine man.
Take notes from Frank Sinatra. He managed to seem dangerous, ultra cool, seductive and chivalrous all at once. He opened doors, helped ladies up the stairs, kept his cards close to his chest. He embodied timeless style, was just a little bit of a bad buy but indulged women so much they always forgave him for his habits. He never made himself too available, so that whenever a woman was given a chance to be with him, she was on her best behaviour. Most important of all, he established hard boundaries. If a woman did anything to breach his expectations (Lauren Bacall, cough, cough), he cut off all communication. Done. No fooling around. While this meant he never got to be with Lauren Bacall, other women got the message. Nobody jerks Frank around.
3. They know how to make a woman melt with words.
Men and women are wired differently. While there are exceptions to the rule, most men value ‘actions’ of appreciation more, while women value ‘expressions’ of appreciation more. Now, everybody likes a little of both, and just because you say pretty things doesn’t mean you can stand her up, but by and by large men have lost their edge on this seduction front. When was the last time you told a woman she made the rest of the world seem to fall away, and then held her gaze until she looked down, smiling and blushing? And then you winked and walked off? Huh? That’s the kind of thing a women will talk about for weeks, and she won’t stop thinking about you the entire time. (By the way, this means you should make your move quickly and decisively. Ask her out on a date shortly after, and make clear that it is a date, not just hanging out.)
Being able to seduce women with words takes a lot of practice. You want to feel comfortable, and completely confident saying these things. It has to look natural and seem totally natural, as if it just flew right off the cuff. If your love interest thinks saying such things don’t come naturally to you, she will assume she already has you wrapped around her finger, which will make her less interested. You want to pique her interest- that is, to seem like a fascinating lover, even a bit of a rake. Getting a date with you should seem like a big deal. So practice saying things in the mirror. Record yourself saying the words. If you can’t come up with great things on the fly, try reading more poetry, or watching shows with notorious seducers as characters. Mad Men is a great example- Don Draper is devastatingly good at using words to make women fall in love with him.
It may take time, but you’ll get the idea. And there’s no confidence booster like knowing you can flip a girl’s interest with a handful of words, anywhere, anytime. And, as we all know, confidence is one of the most important keys you’ll need in your pocket to escape the Friendzone.
4. Most importantly, they know what their endgame is.
What does your ideal relationship look like? Or, if you’re just looking for a domino game of endless flings with beautiful women, what does that look like? You’ll never get anywhere if you don’t know where you want to be headed; you’ll just drive around in circles. If your ideal relationship entails long conversations and cooking together, don’t go to the movies with her! Why not invite her over, let her watch you cook for her, all while making scintillating music, pouring more wine, listening to sexy records?
If you want to have exciting flings with women all around the world, what are you doing spending all your money in bars? Save up, travel and go dancing- let the intention of your touch, your words, make what you want very clear. The world is truly there for the asking-you can achieve anything you want, if you know the right way to ask for it. Like the say, we’ve all got a price. The price for landing the women of your dreams is that you’ll have to act like the man of their dreams.
Be bold. Do your research. Take risks and be passionate- to escape the Friendzone, a man has to be more than just confident. He has to be brave. Are you up to the task?
We’re right with you all the way. Coming up next: stories of how guys have successfully wrested platonic wastelands into sexual paradise…