Chances are you’ve been there, guys: everything’s going great, you’re getting yes signs all the way home, but once you get your little hottie into bed you just can’t quite seal the deal. What happened? In this article, we’ll talk about some reasons girls suddenly become resistant, and how you can prevent this from happening.
First things first, why do women act this way?
How to overcome LMR and get a girl into bed? (LMR: last minute resistance)
THE FEMALE PERSPECTIVE
From a dude’s point of view, women often seem flakey, overly emotional, unpredictable and even indecisive. Girls say yes and then no, and then yes again- and then no again! Whereas, most dudes will do what they say they’re going to do, case closed.
As it turns out, there’s a very good reason women suddenly get cold feet, or what we’ll call Last Minute Resistance (that’s LMR for short).
The key thing here is that it only seems scatterbrained. Why do girls get all flaky? It’s simple, especially when you look at it from an evolutionary perspective. Remember, we are animals. Women are the weaker sex. Women have to look out for their own interests, and if a situation suddenly seems like a bad idea, she’s got to get the hell out of there.
This also goes for her friends, who will come out of nowhere like a swarm of cockblocking mosquitoes and try to wrest their girl away from your hot little hands: they are trying to protect her from you, dummy.
So if you do anything to make a girl think she can’t trust you, or if anything happens to make her change her mind about the wisdom of “just having fun”, ie she start worrying about an unwanted pregnancy, STD or bad reputation- BAM, she’s going to get the hell out of there.
Why do women put up LMR? Because you no longer seem like such a good idea.
Here’s some examples: She’s really into you, things are hot and heavy, and you’ve got her back at your place and SHE IS IN YOUR BED. This can only mean one thing, right?
If she suddenly starts saying she’s tired or wants to keep her pants on, you’ve done something to flip her switch to OFF. Maybe your kisses got slobbery.
Or maybe your place looks like a shithole and she’s sobering up, she’s thinking, “Oh man, I don’t want to date another loser who can’t afford to take nice care of me and treat me like somebody special.” OR maybe everything about you is just a little too slick, and suddenly she feels like maybe she’s just going to wind up as a notch in your belt.
Whatever the reason, you’ve missed the mark. And now that her alarm bells are going off, any little tiny detail that furthers the downward spiral going down in her mind is going to seem way worse to her than it normally might. Say, for example, if she was still crushing hard on you.
When a girl is really into you, she’ll make excuses for you.
When she’s not so sure about you, she’ll make excuses to blow you off.
WOMEN HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.
The stakes are higher, that’s all. While your Main Objective is just to get laid and feel good, hers is often to not get hurt. Can you imagine what it’s like to worry about that? She doesn’t want to get stuck with a kid and some low life baby daddy who refuses to pay child support- she doesn’t want to get cheated on, or treated badly. She doesn’t want to date some dud who will just get in the way of her ever finding Mr. Right.
She also doesn’t want to make the wrong decision, and be too nice to a guy who might turn out to be abusive, or a stalker. Men really do pose very real threats to women, and it is something they have to face every single day.
Think about it- every time a girl takes a walk down the sidewalk, she has to remember to be careful where she goes because there are sexual predators out there. Trust me. There is never a time when a woman forgets to think about this. Everywhere she goes, men want something from her, and some of them will do terrible things to get it. Women often ‘pretend’ not to know what is going on, but this is because admitting the truth is so difficult.
LAST MINUTE RESISTANCE
Even when she meets someone she is really into, she’s going to have last minute worries flying through her head at a hundred miles an hour, just like you would before making a big commitment. Like, say, buying a car. You’d be wondering things like:
Am I paying too much? Is it actually a lemon? What if there’s a better deal down the street? Can I actually afford the maintenance on this thing?
Get the picture? In much the same way, that’s what she’s lying there thinking. No matter what kinds of sounds she’s making, etcetera, she IS wondering things about you like:
Does he really like me, or is he just horny?
Will he think less of me tomorrow for letting him do these things?
Does he have an STD?
What if Julie was right, and he’s kind of a douche? We’re all friends with the same people and this is going to make things awkward. I need to stop right now and tell him I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship. It’s not worth the risk. Besides, Matt is the one I really want…
While it may seem like LMR to you, in truth she’s been spinning these questions all night in her mind. For most women, making a physical commitment is a huge deal, and risky, too. And if you do anything to imply otherwise, you are just cementing your fate in her mind as a no-go.
Here’s where the stakes get upped for you. Most of the time, if she walks away now, she’s not going to walk back. It’s like walking out of a store and leaving an item there on hold, so you can “think about it.” How often do you actually go back to pick that item up?
Once or twice, right? Or maybe even… never.
So what’s a guy to do to overcome Last Minute Resistance, once it has revealed its ugly head?
Next time, we’ll be back with some of the ways you can easily and directly overcome LMR. You’ll be surprised at what a difference these simple behavioral tools can make!